Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I can't believe it's been 15 years.

I've debated all day what to write about this.  But I can't get it out of my mind.  Fifteen years ago today we lost a very loving, caring, hard-working christian man.  This song "If You Could See Me Now.  We heard it on the way to his funeral, and I had never heard it before then, and haven't heard it since.  Other than when I looked it up on youtube.  It's a perfect song for my Dad.  Because he had Lou Gherigs Disease.  In which if your not familiar with it.  It's a disease that attacks the muscles.  His legs were the first to be affected, he went from a walker to a wheelchair.  Then it was his arms to finally the last week he was with us it affected his swallowing, and to the point of the last night he couldn't talk to us but in a whisper.
I can remember not long after I bought my first car.  He had fallen at work and broke his wrist.  In which we didn't know it at the time but most likely he already had the disease but we didn't know it.  Because that was the first of several falls. 
He was outside changing the spark plugs on my car and for some reason he went in the house.  When he came back out I had pulled all the covers off the plugs.  I thought I was helping him.  All he said was go see if your Mom needs you in the house.  He never scolded me for doing it and I didn't learn until years later that by doing it I wasn't helping him at all.
I know in my heart he's in a better place.  But I still miss him.  There's days I wish I could ask him for advice.  Because he was a very smart man.  He was quiet, and soft-spoken.  He wasn't one to express his emotions.  He never said I love you, but we knew that he did.  He never said anything bad about anyone.  I can't remember him ever raising his voice to any of us six kids.  And I'm sure we gave him plenty of reasons that he could have if he had wanted to.  I never heard him or my Mom argue.  I'm sure there were disagreements but they never discussed them in front of us. 
He rarely missed a day of work.  If he did then he was so sick he couldn't get out of bed. 
He was always there for us.  We didn't have the toys and electronics that the kids today have.  But we had what we needed.  
He served his church for many years and helped anyone that he could.
I miss him and love him , but I wouldn't want him to come back .  I would rather one day for us all to meet him in heaven.

Random Dozen Merry Christmas

1. Gingerbread: For or against? Discuss.  I've had it once and I really like it.  I keep saying every year I'm going to make a gingerbread house with the kids.  Maybe we will start small and make gingerbread cookies.

2. Is it important to you to always stay (live) close to family?
  I have always lived within an hour of most of my family.  Especially my parents.   And now that my oldest daughter has married, we moved closer to her.  In which were only fifteen minutes from her and her family.  And about 45 minutes from my Mom.

3. Which holiday pretend character do you wish really existed?  I guess Santa, because then I could make maybe somehow make sure every child has a memorable Christmas.

4. Which holiday movie best represents how you feel about Christmas or life?  I couldn't think of one until I read some other answers.  Christmas with the Cranks.  Save all the money that is spent on gifts that we don't really need and take off for a few days.

5. Is there a particular Christmas song that you're enjoying now? Any that you're tired of?  I love Silent Night.  Not many that I can think of that I don't like.  Maybe any that has to do with Christmas and rednecks.

6. What is your favorite way to remember those less fortunate at Christmastime?  Nothing in particular.  As per an angel tree or salvation army.  More specifically if I know of someone in need I try to help.  Especially the children.  Adults understand but children doesn't understand why Santa forgot about them.

7. Does it upset you to see "Xmas" instead of Christmas? How about "Happy Holidays" etc., instead of "Merry Christmas?"
I wouldn't say upset.  More mad, aggravated, hurt.  The same as when you hear someone take God's name in vain.   Certain people have a bad habit of saying   OMG.  To the point of when they say it I ask them are they praying? 

8. How many Christmas programs are you attending this month?  We have a Cantata at church this Sunday morning.  But that's about it.

9. Are you dreaming of a white Christmas? Any chance of that dream becoming a reality?
I would love to have a white Christmas.  I know I'm a rarity.  But it usually is very warm here on Christmas.  My youngest daughter is nine and has never seen snow.  So just once a white Christmas would be nice.  Not much just enough to cover the ground.  I'm not choosy.  Chances that it will happen.  Only God knows.  It's in the 40s here one day and a couple of days later in the 70s so anything can happen.

10. Tell me about a Christmas present you received as a child. Pics are always nice.
The first one that comes to my mind is an easy-bake-oven.  Maybe that's where I got my love of baking from.  I later passed it on to a niece of mine.

11. How many Christmas parties are you attending this month?
none, zelch.  I don't work and the place where my husband works doesn't have them.

12. How do you keep yourself centered on the significance of Christmas?
I make sure the kids know the true meaning of Christmas.  That it's not about the gifts, or Santa Claus.  But it's about Jesus that was born in a manger, died on a cross, and rose again so that we can live forever with him.  I had never heard it but our Pastor asked us Sunday if we knew why he was born in a born.  Because where else should a lamb be born.