Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I can't believe it's been 15 years.
I've debated all day what to write about this. But I can't get it out of my mind. Fifteen years ago today we lost a very loving, caring, hard-working christian man. This song "If You Could See Me Now. We heard it on the way to his funeral, and I had never heard it before then, and haven't heard it since. Other than when I looked it up on youtube. It's a perfect song for my Dad. Because he had Lou Gherigs Disease. In which if your not familiar with it. It's a disease that attacks the muscles. His legs were the first to be affected, he went from a walker to a wheelchair. Then it was his arms to finally the last week he was with us it affected his swallowing, and to the point of the last night he couldn't talk to us but in a whisper.
I can remember not long after I bought my first car. He had fallen at work and broke his wrist. In which we didn't know it at the time but most likely he already had the disease but we didn't know it. Because that was the first of several falls.
He was outside changing the spark plugs on my car and for some reason he went in the house. When he came back out I had pulled all the covers off the plugs. I thought I was helping him. All he said was go see if your Mom needs you in the house. He never scolded me for doing it and I didn't learn until years later that by doing it I wasn't helping him at all.
I know in my heart he's in a better place. But I still miss him. There's days I wish I could ask him for advice. Because he was a very smart man. He was quiet, and soft-spoken. He wasn't one to express his emotions. He never said I love you, but we knew that he did. He never said anything bad about anyone. I can't remember him ever raising his voice to any of us six kids. And I'm sure we gave him plenty of reasons that he could have if he had wanted to. I never heard him or my Mom argue. I'm sure there were disagreements but they never discussed them in front of us.
He rarely missed a day of work. If he did then he was so sick he couldn't get out of bed.
He was always there for us. We didn't have the toys and electronics that the kids today have. But we had what we needed.
He served his church for many years and helped anyone that he could.
I miss him and love him , but I wouldn't want him to come back . I would rather one day for us all to meet him in heaven.